lessons (un)learned


a question i can't answer

before i get to the question, though, i wanna say thanks to everyone for checkin' out my blog and for your comments (on and off this site). i don't know whether this blog is truly for all of you or if it's really just for me. it's probably a little of both. here's hopin' you enjoy it regardless.
my friend, TammyLee, told me that there's nothing wrong with me. and not wanting to portray the wrong image with my title, i've decided renaming is in order.
i almost didn't post this. re-reading it, quite honestly, caused
me to wonder what i really think about all this. i'll warn you that i'm
rambling and the post ends somewhat abruptly. i'd really like some
feedback. well, onward we go...

'the question?' you ask. hmm...
my answer: 'the question is this...'
why are we so stubbornly independent?
independence is a great quality and highly necessary. i mean, let's face it, people are gonna let us down. if we live our lives totally dependent on others, we're gonna end up losing sometime, somewhere. but that's not my purpose here.
is it possible that the areas in which we are most independent are the areas which require the greatest amount of dependence. specifically, i'm thinking of my failings, the things in my life that disappoint me (whether or not they are "bad"). i've spent so much of my life all alone with such things--not wanting to share them with someone for any number of reasons (not wanting to be vulnerable, wondering what that person would think or if they would still accept me for me...).
and i haven't just seen it in my life; i've seen it in my friends' lives too. i remember one friend in particular. a while ago he was really struggling with some things. he told a few people some of the things he was dealing with, but he wouldn't get any real help. he had to practically break down in front of a group of people before he would let anyone help.
it's not just my friend and i who are like this.
why are we so stubborn? is it just human nature that says, 'i can do this on my own. yeah, i see all the ways this (whatever) is negatively affecting me, but i can change. i can do it...i...i...i...?' why does it so often take a breakdown (some event that makes our problem so obvious to others that we can no longer hide it) for us to ask for help?
we were not created to live life alone.


At December 7, 2004 at 8:38 AM, Blogger TammyLee said...

Jacob, I just wanted to let you know that I need you to survive..... :)

It's a good question friend. I don't know the answer either. It's interesting because that is what the church is for: to have a family to rely on, and it should be closer then our natural family because we are bonded through Christ. And yet, it seems we try to be more even perfect.... is it because we are trying to be so holy that we forget we are human? Jesus said the two greatest commandments are to "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind" and to "Love thy neighbor as yourself." I guess it's on us then to be actively involved in loving others so that they will feel willing to turn to their neighbor in times of struggle and not stay so "stubbornly independent."

Love you so much Sam!

At December 8, 2004 at 11:22 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow jacob I didnt know you were such a deep thinker!!!!! and iv asked myslef the same questions as well. why we do the things we do......and its like you said human nature....it's flawed and we chose to make it that way...but we have a hope in Christ our Lord. well g2g K.S. <><

At December 9, 2004 at 3:21 PM, Blogger Laura said...

Hey! I would guess that the reason why is because we all deal with a little thing called PRIDE. Though really, it can become a huge thing if we let it. Truth is... when we show our weaknesses or ask for help it shows the part of us that's not so perfect... and we all want to be viewed as perfect. Right?!?! You're definately not alone in this circle. I think we all have weaknesses and all have areas that we could improve in if we would only let others in. Perhaps we should pray for humility. I also believe though that "sharing" our weaknesses causes us to grow closer to our friends and family and when one of us shares it makes the rest more willing to share as well... then we can all grow and become stronger together.

At December 25, 2004 at 10:45 AM, Blogger azgopbabeval said...

I myself have reently been told that dependence is sometimes a hinderance or a sign of weakness, more than relying on others. I believe this is true, in certain circumstances. But, we are only human- and we need ask GOD for wisdom and for help before asking others. My pride often gets in the way of me asking for ANYTHING- for fear that people will realize that need someone else. It is time for all of to admit when we need help, when we need a hug or if we just want to laugh or cry. Good post!


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